*PuRrPaWs FoOtsTepS*

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

zHeN, Go gO JiAyOu On uR rEcOveRy!!!

A broadcasted message that i read in Friendster yesterday left me in droplets of tears. It was a message from an old friend who recently had a less-healthy chord struck in her life.

We always take health for granted, don't we? We'd tend to forget how fragile it is. Many, including myself, may presume that health only becomes a sensitive concern in old age, surely not in our youth, right? Naively, we abuse it and neglect it until cruelty decides to lash its whip on us and health heartlessly abandons us. Why must it take a less-forturnate news from a old friend to make me realise this?

I feel very sad over what happened to her. But right now is not the time to lament over what is lost. Instead, grip on to what we are blissed with and believe the better. She has the support from many, and she WILL be cured! She's a strong one!!

Go Go Jia You, Zhen!!! Everything is made possible by the STRENGTH within you!!!

5:52 AM
P u R r P a W s

Friday, November 24, 2006

wHaT i aTe tOdaY....

11 Large pieces of steamed chicken (Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner)

200g Wonka Caramel Chocolate

2 bars of Snickers

Half a Da-Pao

1 Bowl of Carrot+Ribs Soup

1 piece of Flour Cake with Red Bean

1 piece of Flour Cake with crushed Peanuts

1 rice bowl full of Sambal Chilli Anchovies

4 x 330 mL Plain Water

1 dose of 500mg Vitamin C Drink

1 serving of Vegetable + Egg Soup

Half a packet of Almonds + Anchovies

I have not stop munching since 12.35pm, even my Uni-mate has noticed that over the numerous phone calls. My mouth is really getting very tired... But I am still HUNGRY!!! And I totally lost count of the number of times I have searched the fridge for more food...

Suddenly have a flashback of an episode of South Park I've watch recently, about the characters spending weeks doing nothing but sitting in front of their PC to play an online game. By the end of it, they have overgrown their clothes and seats, and spotted a face of huge acnes. Really disgusting. And I feel like I am one of them now... This is BAD... very BAD.

Stress is making me do tragedies to my weight, and there's no stopping it!!! Just the amount of chocolates I have eaten today is enough to kill me! Argh! I can literally feel the pressure of mass increasing under my chin and my enormous belly is popping out so much u can't miss it visually. My arms seems to have ballooned so much that just holding them flat against my body has now become an uncomfortable chore. It seems difficult to even hold my thighs together because the new-grown fats are literally blocking the way. I am FAT!!!!!! No, I am OBESE!!!

My God... This is really BAD!!!! Oh my... This is a DISASTER!!!!!

2:16 AM
P u R r P a W s

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

thiS EntRy mAkes NO sEnSe aT aLL...

I spent some time thinking about what I want to do in the future... I assure u that I have given this enough serious thoughts, and my enthusiasm to fulfill it is definitely going to impress even my usually-feeble determination.

Nope, that "4 years down the road" thingy is still like a mysterious BLUR to me. But to compensate for that, I've got a new ambition for the very very very near future! And I seriously think this might happen. And its gonna take place in a series of highly important steps, with huge efforts from me and perhaps... Baby's wallet????! Hehehe...

"Ok Baby, remember ur hands are big and my neck is kind of fragile hor. I was just kidding about the wallet part huh... really!!!"

- Lose my chunky fats!!
- Continuously load my wardrobe with a hundred piece of dresses and makeUp!!!!!
- Dress Up! Dress Up! Dress Up!!!

I figured out that with my coming birthday... *DAMN.. so soon again*. Whatever is left of my years of youth is disappearing at an ridiculous rate, and I better make the best of what is left, before I am turned by Time's horrible curse into a unproportionally-shrinked and wrinkled old woman hanging with saggy skin, and not forgeting that a huge drooping belly too. So yes, it is also of utmost importance that I must not forget to capture whatever is left of my aging youth in heaps of pictures!

So u can see now how critical it is to accessorize my limited assets everyday from... well, post-exams onwards. Please kindly remind me if I look less than well-groomed from then on, on any public appearance! Shopping with no longer be just an entertainment... It is a MISSION!!!

*GRIN*

Alright, did i bore you with bimbotic entry of a Bimbo-to-Be? Yup, you totally guessed it right! My latest amibition is really to be a BIMBO! If u are already cursing and swearing under ur breath at such a brainless post now, it means I've got the first step right!!! Bimbos are meant to be very brainless and irritating, aren't they? Hahahaha!!

P/S: Realised I am wearing an awful lot of PINK recently... Is that one of those Bimbotic-symptoms too??

9:31 PM
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Monday, November 20, 2006

SMELLY cOw dUnG

Oh my god! This is one of those days where I'm at a total loss on how to react... Because no matter how I react, its gonna be damn evil.... Hahaha!!!!

I can't believe this! Somebody actually picked up the "cow dung" I've left behind! This has got to be the most hilarious day in my life. I will be watching the latest drama in town on free tickets and I know that this is gonna be one FISHing good show!

Why? Because the power of cow dung is limitless! It stinks like hell and does more than just stinking... The smell lingers strong and far... Even elephant dung doesn't stinks half as bad. It stays on and on no matter how many times u wash your hands. And it is so empowering it sucks away all your breath. Worst of all... it sticks!! Dip ur hands into a sticky piece cow dung and guess what u'll get?? A gem maybe? NO! U simply get more cow dung! Moist and sticky, with a new amibition to get all over ur clothes and onto every piece of whatever precious you've ever own.

That someone is gonna have a long hard time with that piece of "cow dung" and I'm not even going to wish her luck! A lesson of cow dung has been well learn, so now I'm just gonna laugh my head off at my unlucky successor aka Both-Eyes-Blind! Maybe her nose is so stuffed up as well that she fantasize that it is a piece of gem? Maybe she's not even gonna realise that it is really a piece of cow dung? Or maybe she rationalize that stickiness to a piece of bubble-gum? Now, at least bubble gum doesn't stinks. Oh no... What a poor girl... But thats.... even better! More drama to watch! Hahahahaha!

My god... Somebody hit me! Fast! Oh I am so wicked! HAHA!

10:53 PM
P u R r P a W s

Friday, November 17, 2006

WAR

Today must be like the worst day ever... It reminds me of the days in my first year of polylife, where my group of 5 bubblies were reduce to 4, in an extremely awkward process. I thought we were young, I'd never expect the same thing to happen again.

This afternoon, to add on to all the stress and such, a friend decided to initiate"gunfire war" against me. How untimely. Baby says it was an unavoidable situation, and I was just the most convenient and easiest target board to hit, like always. As though everything was meant to linked up, one thing lead to another to a catastrophic mess. My emotional threshold level hiked to such extreme heights, I thought I would just snap.

The whole firing game seems more like an one-sided affair... I tried my best to suppress my anger and not put myself on par with her emotional level. I pretended whatever she said was part of her usual tactnessless that as a friend, I should and must easily ignore. But it seems like the more polite my responses were, the worse they agitated her. Maybe sometimes, when someone is in a fiery outburst, she is just looking for an equivalent response. And perhaps I just didn't managed to fulfill that response. The more I wanted to hide, the more she pulled her trigger.

After a series of attack, when I naively thought everything was finally in peace, another round of bombing started for more bizarre absurdness. I was so weary of keeping my emotions under wraps, that it came to a point that I eventually couldn't remember what I was angry about. All I wanted to do was let the bomb hit me and be done with it.

A friend is nonetheless a friend, whatever shot out of her mobile, though makes little or no sense to me, just the tone of it can hurt one pretty badly. I am very sadden by the whole episode. It still amazes me how at the end of the day, accusations so different from the actual fact, can be "broadcasted". Simply what have I done to deserve all these from a friend? And what kind of friend thinks I deserve these?

If you can understand what a person wants, then strategies can be drawn to pacify her. But every incoming message just led me to further and further confusion. Communication could have been done more effectively, minus all the unpleasing adjectives. But I guess for most people, it is always difficult to not to voice out unnecessary emotions, which in fact does nothing but flood and hide the true intentions of a statement made. Was that really necessary?

Above all, I feel really sorry for the other less innocent friends who were in one way or another pulled into the warfare too --- to sweep up the piece of "debris" left lying behind. What has it got to do with them? They have already put in their best efforts, and so did I, with our limited intelligence and with no luxury of additional aid, to come up with that piece of "debris". Yes, so it may have ended up looking an unworthy piece of debris to her, when she finally manages to compare it to more a superior piece of work... But it lies the fact that the rest of us had initiated and contributed our share of hardwork with our then-lacking-resources in both "hardware" and "software". There was really no need to discredit anyone so harshly.

Right now, I'm still troubled over what I should do, or how I should pretend like nothing has happen the next time I sees her. I wonder how is she taking the madness of this chaotic day. Letting nothing affect the overall friendships is my primary concern. But frankly, nothing will be the same anymore to me after this. Politeness will be about the only thing I can offer her in the meantime.

3:01 AM
P u R r P a W s

Monday, November 13, 2006

Too stressed up...

People, please do not allow your eyes to wander any further then this point, unless u fancy risking ur mood to be further poisoned on a Monday by this idiot's depressing notes... Now, u know I wouldn't bear making u feel more "blue" than I assume u already might be. Read this on a Thursday perhaps? :o)

Sis says she heard me yelping in my sleep.

I'm getting alot of nightmares... I even get nightmares in a 10min nap. I dreamt of a last-minute panic rush though hundreds of theorems for an exam, which of course, I eventually failed -- effortlessly. I dreamt of scribbling nonsense on a quiz paper, and I also dreamt of running away as a wanted criminal. I dreamt of being in a frantic scuttle to conjure up a report for an urgent deadline and miraculously, my lappie died on me. I even dreamt of being a digital goldfish living in a mobile phone unwittingly killed my stupid owner, leaving me to bubble in the dark eternally. Totally senseless! Yup, and amazingly, I dreamt all these ridiculous bullshit in a 10min nap.

I have not been sleeping in my room for more than a week now, and my sleeping pattern have been "upgraded" to chaotic. I would instinctively settle myself to nap on whatever that resembles a flat surface, that lies closest to my study cavern. Yes, I have even tried using the ironing board as a makeshift pillow when I couldn't reach for mine fast enough. My lack of sleep has given me an awful headache and fever that refuses to subside even after forcing four tablets of paracetamol down my throat. Great. My scheming body has decided to play punk on me. It obviously knows that I cant afford the luxury of a boundless slumber right now. Fine, go on and declare war. Lets see who is more obstinate, yah.

Baby isn't getting it any better from me either. The Drama Queen managed to make Mr Cool super angry for the first time by torturing him through some nonsensical dialogue the other day, then freaked the poor guy out today by crying almost uncontrollably the moment we met on the streets, for absolutely invalid reasons. And I have to clarify that: No, all these has got nothing to do with PMS, and yes, I was still getting my normal dosage of chocolates.

I even imagined myself balding from having too much stress and potato chips, and made Sis snap pics of my scalp over and over again. I have illusions of my eyebrows and lashes loosening their roots at a rapid rate. I can't tell u how terrified I am.

I have never thought that exams can be so psychologically unhealthy and physically exhausting. The fatigue level feels equivalent to operating Delhi flights every single day for the past two weeks, and having the flight roster screaming more to come at my face... Worse still, imagine doing Delhi turnarounds (if there are such) everyday for the next two weeks. Oh my god... This is gonna kill.

P/S: Sorry for the terrible language here, my thoughts simply came out in chunks, so I typed chunks.

3:01 AM
P u R r P a W s

Saturday, November 11, 2006

BLoG of a aNgRy wiFe's reVenGe on heR ChEatinG HusBanD... GoOd oNe!

Many conversations took place yesteray that left mi thinking alot. Most simply tripled, if not quadrupled the seeds of uncertainities in me. After my exams, I will seriously need to give my future routes an earnest thought. Till then, its all hard work waiting for me now. 加油!!

Anyway, I heard a friend's story yesterday. I felt so sad for her plight that I imagined myself shaking my head (well, I couldn't do that in front of her). Ethnically, I shall not share her story here. I really feel so sorry for her, but as a friend, my stand can only be limited to consolation and even more suggestive consolations. I can only say "坚持,加油!!", when what I really wanted to say was "转头走人吧!!".

Deep down, I have difficulties understanding her tolerance. Frankly, the first thing that comes to my mind was *Dump the guy, pack my bags and leave*, and I assure u I would dump EVERYTHING behind, including pets alike, to him. I really admire her but certainly do not share her patience. I don't see why I should hold on to relationships that have become liabilities. I refuse to be reduced to a heartwrenching pool of misery. On saying this, I feel very disturbed by my strong-headed and carefree thinkings too. Why don't my thoughts work the same way others do?

I shared my thoughts with another mutual friend. She said that she thinks it is because I'm one smart woman who doesn't pin all my hopes on one male, or I simply have not found the right guy yet. Another friend once commented that I'm too independant, hence I'd never subject myself to the mercy of a guy's emotional generosity. It can't be. Baby is the best guy that I've ever known. No one will ever treat me better that he does... I think. So surely, he must be my MR RIGHT, right? And smart, my foot. I'm definitely nowhere near SMART if u can see me whining. Yet I am still delibrately aware of my own stand in this relationship. I am not the least blinded by love as I've seen others are when in a relationship. Am I abnormal?

Anyway, I came across this blog of a angry wife. It is truly inspirational!! *Applauses*

I simply love how the girl Emily handled the betrayal from that wretched husband of hers!! Nothing is as sweet as a revenge well-planned.

Girls, we should all read and re-read, and learn from this:
Emily's Revenge

5:25 PM
P u R r P a W s

Friday, November 10, 2006

How do I say?

I have been pondering how do I even say this? My literal means of expressing myself is awkwardly limited.

Nope, absolutely nothing is pissing me off right now. Everyone's has been nice and sweet, which I'm really really thankful for. But this issue hints to be foreseen as a problem that would eventually surface. And before that even happens, I guess I'll need to make some emphasis. But how do I say it nicely without sounding anywhere near crude and blunt?

How do I say that not working during my length of studies is MY personal option? Do I also inform that I had worked hard enough and saved hard enough for the past 4 years, seeked enough support, and sacrificed a significant sum of monetary income, to provide myself with this option? Would it hurt if I were to re-emphasize that henceforth, not working is by far MY own personal option and its NOT for anyone else's convenience except mine?

So can I nicely assume that the next time someone decides to make a judgmental statement out of My personal option, please also bear in mind that I have MY own fair share of personal things to do that totally fills up MY own personal time --- which, ultimately calls for this personal option and NOT anything else?

Well, just how should I say this??? I can't possibly say something like, "Yah, I'm not working but NO, I'm not like damn free for every damn thing ok." Now would be sounding too thoughtlessly blunt and harsh, isn't it?

Gosh... some words are just hard to mouth. Tell me how should I say this? But frankly, why should I even bother saying this? Did I sound pissed? No, I'm not really pissed.

9:06 AM
P u R r P a W s

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

我的妈呀!!!

A little conversation with my mom today. She's definitely thinking too much.

Mom : (very excitedly) Ah-mei, I ask you something huh?

My eyebrows raised suspiciously. I am getting really bad vibes from her sudden excitement.

Me : What?

Mom : Ah-mei, I ask you hor... Recently did you get to know any friends who are doctors, at school??

Me : No... Why?

At this point she looks visibly disappointed. I could see her cheeks literally sank by half a inch.

Mom : Huh.... Aiya... *Frowns*

Me : Why leh?

Mom : (With a super dreamy look) Because that day hor, I dreamt that you got a doctor boyfriend leh!!! =)

Me : Alamak! Ma, you think I go to school to fish for boyfriends arr?? I go to school to study one leh!

*Faints*

妈, 你的脑子里都装了些什么啊?? 你也想太多了吧!!!!

2:01 AM
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Sunday, November 05, 2006

疯了

我想我是疯了......

星期天早晨, 刚被恶梦惊醒的我慌张地整理着书包, 准备回到学校再好好加油.

脑子里不停的念着: "我今天一定要把它给读完!!"

星期天的白痴竟然忘了日子, 忘了所有的约会, 也忘了时间...

星期天的我把脚步都停留在昨天没读完的那第702页.

........... 我疯了.

6:58 AM
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Friday, November 03, 2006

无聊小泡影 (1)

人总是不会介意别人爱上不够真心的自己,

却很在意自己爱上不够真心的人...

8:24 AM
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Thursday, November 02, 2006

SeNiLe...

I'm in school now... Yes, at this hour. And yes, I heard your "Huh!". Just this morning, some senile citizen absent-mindedly rebuilts her determination to slog for the exams. And to be even more inspired, Hopelessly-Senile shall breathe the air of a highly motivating environment. Apparently, it slipped Senile's mind that besides being very very senile, she is very stupid too.

Gosh, what she was thinking??

I really think I am genetically programmed to do crazy stuff. Admirable at times, but definitely CRAZY, and very very stupid.

Its getting a little too quiet here for my liking. The wind makes my spine shiver. Situations like these makes my imagination run wild. Not my fault if some very free people are playing what seems to be funeral palour "music" at 2am in the morning. Luckily Baby is nice enough to accompany me through the night by sleeping on the cold hard bench at the other corner of the table. Or I would really have freak out!

The good news is, I certainly did learn something after 6 hours of staring at my textbooks. To be more exact, I learnt 2 neat words. Short but extremely meaningful. I'm GONNA FAIL!!!! GONNA FAIL GONNA FAIL!!!! Now, that was very motivating and insightful, isn't it? Sigh.

I wonder what has energy balances got to do with me? Frankly, the only input and output process that appeals to me is the EAT and SHIT cycle. I think I am better off learning calories balances. That would be so much more practical and useful, right?

My butt hurts badly from "prolong" sitting and my legs are totally numb now. How strange since I've got so much cushion from having such a fleshy bottom. I am so tempted to give my butt a good rub. But no, I cant. Thou shall refrain from the obscenity of rubbing ur bottom in the PUBLIC.

Anyone who can send me a nice soft seat cushion now, I will be deeply grateful. Haha. I might even consider letting the kind soul be my guinea pig the next time I bake something EDIBLE. Attractive offer huh? NO?

2:57 AM
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