Finally..... My super duper outdated humble contribution on JingPing's Wedding. Yes, very very late. I know.
Yup, I look FAT. I've gained flabs, lots of it in fact. The pictures are good enough proof. I've scrutunized through each and every magnified inch of the pictures, so I definitely know. So... NO, you really do NOT need to rub it in. Bleh... I should have gotten that digitally magical program called Photoshop.
The reason I mentioned FLABS and not WEIGHT is because I have not gained any of the latter if you are interested to know. Not even 100g. Somehow, miraculously I just look FAT. My body mass and its outook has never tallied. I don't know why, don't ask me.
Well, while I am at this, I might as well conveniently mention that what every girl needs is really a Sweet-Talker. It doesn't matter what they say or what I've said. Every guy should know well enough we seldom mean what we say. We say the things we do to make you feel better and essentially, to make us feel better about you being such a dimwit.
I guess it must be my outmost misfortune to be stuck with one that speaks nothing but the truth and the whole truth... Emphasized, Amplified and Repeated. In my opinion, "Hey you look FAT." is definitely not a great way to start a date. And "Your arms are so FLABBY" is really a horrible way to end one too. And man, the way he said it! He almost looked like he has done me a big favor by saying the unspeakable.
At that moment, I imagined knoocking him out with a merciless killer swing of my "flabby" arm. I struggled with great effort to fight the temptation to deaf his ears with a, "Hey, SHUT UP! You skinny bag of bones!". My insides are thunder-storming but as usual all I could eventually muster up is an idiotic smile at an equally idiotic bright-eyed creaure. FISH.
I know it sounds really bimbotic to say this, but I can get fiercely materialistic over verbal commpliments. Yes, it is not difficult for us to distinguish between the fake and the real. But even so, the fakies can be still sweet to the ears, and the real.... well, they are simply an extra bonus. In short, the average girl's ears doesn't hurt abit to hear both. Its like chocolate to the ears. So give us whole truckload of them. Extra sweet and more toppings please.
